So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
