He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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