i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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