omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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