oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
