Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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