I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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