oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
