His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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