so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am available for nakedness
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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