marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your penis caused this!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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