Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
