well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He better not be in your backpack
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
