dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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