If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize