i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
