dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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