piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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