I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize