I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
