The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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