if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize