Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
