so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
