Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
