Do you still have your period?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
