Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
