he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
