Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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