If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize