Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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