Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
