She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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