You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
