My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
