i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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