I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
