A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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