woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
