I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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