Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize