Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
