At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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