What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Randomize
