this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
