i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
