Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize