i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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