And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
whose parrot is this?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So here I am, sexting at work.
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