i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
