I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
