Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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