I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Randomize
