I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
