Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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