Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
