Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
