People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
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