can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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