i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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