It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
