Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize