Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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(407): View more from Florida

My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life

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(360): View more from Washington

I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him

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(503): View more from Oregon

My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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(313): View more from Michigan

he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"

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(360): View more from Washington

Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?

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(305): View more from Florida

God, I missed his penis.

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