That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
