i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
