when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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