hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
