Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
