At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
