is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
